3rd April 2021

10 Reasons why Body Confidence & Wellbeing Coaching is about SO much more than just your physical body and your appearance…

When I started training as a Body Confidence & Wellbeing coach at the start of the first COVID-19 lockdown, I knew I wanted to help women to feel better about their bodies and their appearance. In my photography business, I see so many of my clients who come for photoshoots with me, who have very low body confidence, negative self-image and low self-esteem to name a few. They just want to feel good about themselves and their appearance. Quite often, it’s even getting in the way of their relationship with their partner and they also want to reignite a spark. My photoshoots definitely help them to see themselves in a new, more flattering light. I absolutely love what I do and find it so rewarding! But I knew there was more I could help with…

Read on for actionable tips on how to be your best self!

If you’re like any of my clients, you might not like what you see in the mirror; you might not like how you look in photos, and you might have wobbly bits you just can’t bear to love. You also might be feeling stressed most of the time, lacking some fun in your life, and you’re looking for a change. This is completely normal, and it’s something you can definitely heal if you’re ready to work on your self-development.

The question is, how do you start to love yourself more and feel good about yourself? A photoshoot, as amazing and fun as it is, only really provides part of the solution. Quite often, deeper work needs to be done to create more happiness in the long run.

This is where Body Confidence & Wellbeing coaching with me comes in! Since starting my training at the beginning of 2020, I’ve discovered there’s sooo much more to it than just the physical body and learning to love yourself as you are. And I will tell you more about my journey and how it could help you…

1. Learn to love and accept yourself as you are

I’ve learnt how important it is to love yourself and your body just as you are. Firstly, everyone has flaws. Even the people we think are “perfect”. But (no)thanks to the media, only a certain picture is painted, and even that’s often digitally enhanced. There are about 8 BILLION people on this planet and we’re all different and unique. It’s good to focus on just how unique and amazing you are.

Also, beauty is completely perceptual – what’s classed as “beautiful” changes through different cultures, countries and time periods. For example, the ideal standard of beauty is completely different in England than even in the USA. And it was even more different centuries ago. Quite often, we only think we should look a certain way because of how we were brought up and told we should look from our family, friends and the culture we were brought up in.

If you don’t fully accept yourself, you’ll hold yourself back from your full potential. When we fully accept who we are – strengths and weaknesses – we open ourselves up to more people and better opportunities in life.

Action: Try making a list of all the parts of your body that you DO like and/or are grateful for. It may be hard at first, but once you start, it’ll get easier, and you’ll start to see the beauty in what you are blessed with.

2. You can improve your self-esteem with self-love

There’s a reason why you’re told, when you get on a plane, to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others (even your children) in the event of an emergency. This is the same with self-love. We need to love ourselves first in order to help and give more to those around us. Happiness is created from within us, not from an external source. When we don’t love who we are we’re constantly looking to other people or things for approval, to make us feel loved. This is likely to only cause pain or suffering in the long run. By loving ourselves, we set a standard for how others should love us, and we improve our relationships.

There are many ways to raise your self-esteem and love yourself more. This includes setting and achieving small goals, to mirror work and positive affirmations (more on this shortly). But it’s really part of loving and accepting all parts of yourself.

Action: Make a list of all the things you love about yourself, your personality and your character. It’ll give you an instant boost whenever you need it.

3. We can work on healing your relationship with food

So many of us have an unhealthy relationship with food (and ourselves). Usually, I see people who want to lose weight but can’t seem to shift it, or they’ve lost a lot of weight on a well-known diet plan. But then they’re still unhappy and end up putting the weight back on.

When it comes to your relationship with food, you’re already IN the most important relationship of your life – your relationship with YOU. Food is a huge contributor to that relationship because how and what you eat is a result of YOU and your self-worth. When you have a beautiful relationship with you, you become a magnet for more beautiful relationships in your life – friendships, romantic relationships, and family.

Whenever we want food when we are not physically hungry, we are looking for one thing – fulfilment. Quite often, we’re trying to fill an empty space within us. We’re looking for fulfilment of our mind, our emotions or soul – and food has become the quickest way to do that.

Action: The next time you want to eat, question what you’re really hungry for. Are you physically hungry or just thirsty? Perhaps you’re looking to cover up your emotions with food? Are you bored/tired/wanting to eat out of habit?

I can help you to see how the food you eat can be linked to your emotions, habits, beliefs, learned behaviours and more. Most importantly, I can help you change it.

4. Know how to feel goood!

We all want to feel good, right?! Whether that’s in your body, mind or even your soul. So often we lose track and forget what really makes us feel good and alive. Maybe you’ve got a demanding job, or demanding children/pets/spouse… and if you don’t fully love and respect yourself, you may not have allocated yourself enough time for what makes you feel good on a regular basis. As a result, you could be lacking joy, fun, energy and a zest for life. This could end up leading to illnesses and conditions such as depression and burnout.

There are ways to feel good in any situation, even when you can’t leave the house or don’t have the people you love around you. Everything in your life is important to focus on creating those good feelings. From how you feel about your body and yourself, to how you live your life and feel within your body. Make life more worth living!

Action: Firstly, recognise how you want to feel every day of your life – what feelings are most important to you? Secondly, how can you create those feelings? What things could you do that will lead you to feeling how you want to feel? Do you have any hobbies you love? Do you love listening to certain types of music? Do you feel happy when you can be yourself without worrying about what others are thinking? Figure out what creates those good feelings and make time to do more of it!

5. Mindset is key!

Mindset is all about how you think about things, including your attitude. It’s about your beliefs and how you perceive any situation. We can have a positive, growth mindset (this can include seeing the positives even in bad situations and welcoming new challenges and learning/trying new things). Or you can have a fixed, negative mindset (this includes negative emotions, self-doubt, blaming others and not facing responsibility for your mistakes). When you attach “I am…” to a word or statement, this is an affirmation. This then forms a belief you have about yourself.

How you think and the words that you use even to talk to yourself, determines your future and your reality that you create. This is because our thoughts create our beliefs, our beliefs create our feelings, our feelings create actions, and our actions create our reality.

Therefore, the way you talk to yourself, the words you use and the beliefs you have about yourself are so important. A massive part of what we believe comes from how we were brought up, what we were taught by our parents and peers. A lot of our limiting beliefs can hold us back from reaching our full potential and being our true selves, as they aren’t necessarily true.

Action: What positive statement would you love to hear someone say to you? What would you love to believe about yourself? Start saying this affirmation to yourself, ideally out loud, with a smile on your face. Repeat over and over every day until you start to believe it.

6. The power of gratitude

Gratitude helps you to see the world in a more positive way and makes you feel more abundant. Thinking about what you’re thankful for helps especially when you’re feeling low and in a fixed mindset of focusing on negative things. This can include if you’ve had a run of bad luck, or if you’re in financial hardship, or having difficulty with relationships etc.

“Where focus goes, energy flows” – Tony Robbins

When you focus on the negative stuff in your life and believe that you’re unlucky, your mind will automatically search for more proof that this belief is true. So therefore, you’ll keep noticing all the negative stuff. The same goes for the positives. If you start to focus on what’s actually going well in your life and think about what you’re grateful for, your mind will naturally start to find more of it. There are at least two sides to every story, and you can either choose to see the good side or the bad side.

There’s always something to be grateful for. Even when you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom and you’ve got nothing left. It’s often things that we take for granted, such as warm sunshine… a cup of tea… a roof over our head… clean, running water… electricity so that we can see at night… clothes to keep us warm…

Action: Start a gratitude journal and write down at least 3 things you’re grateful for, last thing before you go to sleep at night. Notice how you start to feel more positive as a result.

7. Managing your emotions and becoming more self-aware

Understanding and managing our emotions is such an important skill to have. It allows us to be able to build and maintain better relationships and resolve conflicts with others. By becoming more self-aware, you’re better able to understand what you’re feeling and why, and how to easily resolve it if needed. This can not only help with things like emotional eating and feeling “triggered” by things people say or do; but also learning to listen to your gut intuition and knowing the difference between anxiety and a feeling that something just isn’t right for you.

“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with” – Jim Rohn

It’s also important to be around people who make you feel good. Look for the people who lift you up and encourage you to be the best version of you; rather than put you down emotionally.

Action: To become more self-aware… Start noticing what you’re feeling throughout the day and where those feelings have come from. Notice when your body feels tense, when your breathing quickens or relaxes, if your shoulders feel tense, what makes you smile (even on the inside). Notice what gives you energy or drains you, who “winds you up” etc. Write it all down and see what you learn from it.

8. Know how to relax and de-stress

Being able to relax and know how to “switch off” can improve your sleep, reduce irritability, anxiety and depression. It can boost immune function to avoid illness and disease, help with digestion. When you’re more relaxed you can also improve relationships with others and be more productive. So, it’s pretty important!

There are ways of reducing stress, such as listening to relaxing music, walking in nature, and meditating. Meditation is something that can take people a long time to master but it’s really a continuous practice and even a few minutes is better than nothing. And as with most things, the more you practice, the easier it gets.

The benefits of meditating can include increased emotional intelligence, improved concentration, better sleep, feeling calmer and more relaxed, feeling more present, clearer thinking, reduced illness and reduced physical problems.

Action: There are different types of meditation and there’s also plenty of help for beginners. Try downloading an app on your phone, such as Headspace or Calm, to be guided through some different meditations and see what works best for you.

9. Finding your soul purpose in life

There are so many things that can stop us from doing what we truly desire in life. You could put things off because of ill health; you could be waiting until you look or feel a certain age, shape, size, energy level, happiness etc; you could be waiting until you’ve got rid of something or someone, or moved to a different environment, for example.

But the question is, what do you truly desire? Many of us don’t even know the answer to this question. It’s useful to really get to know yourself and what makes you, you. There are a few questions you could start off by asking yourself…

Action: Write down your answers to the following questions in a journal:
– What really brings you joy and excitement (big or small)? What truly lights you up to the point where you feel like you’re ‘in your element’?
– Is there anything in life you’ve always thought you’d “love to do if/when…” or dreamed of doing, but maybe you don’t think you can or haven’t been in the right circumstance?

10. The importance of visualising what you want

Once you’ve worked out what you really want to achieve, and set some goals, the next step is to create them into reality! Visualising your goals actually happening and creating the feelings of when you’ve achieved them is a very effective way of achieving this. It’s the basis of the Law of Attraction – thinking and feeling in a more positive way and visualising what you want. When you visualise something happening, it’s much more likely to happen. This is because it’ll be much clearer in your mind and you’ll be more likely to put it into action and do the things to make it happen.

Action: Imagine how you’d feel when you achieve what you want in life. What would you be doing? Where would you be? Who would you be with? What could you see/hear/smell/taste/feel? How would you look?

Ultimately, enjoy who you are! Life’s too short to be held back from your own limiting beliefs. It’s time to love and accept yourself from within and start living a happier life.

If you’ve got to the end of this blog, thankyou so much for reading! I really hope my tips help you on your journey of self-discovery 🙂

If you’d like to know more and have a chat about how I can help you further please get in touch via the link below to book a free coaching call. We’ll have a chat and work out what you most need to work on and how I could help.